I need to admit something about myself

This is my story. So far.

I turned 31 this month.

Not a milestone birthday by any measure, but something about it hit different. Maybe because I spent the first half of my twenties just… living. Partying, making friends and exploring what adult life could look like when you finally have your own money. I wasn’t trying to optimize for anything or build towards some grand plan. I was just enjoying being young and having my own money to spend.

Then my late twenties happened. Everyone around me was getting MBAs or shifting to the US, following prescribed paths and I kept thinking – “Maybe it’s time for me to figure out my career as well?” So, I tried different jobs and experimented with various domains. Somehow, all the things I tried involved ‘content ' in some way. I also got married and built what now looks like a responsible adult life.

But here’s the thing about your thirties (at least the one year I’ve experienced so far): you feel more confused and more responsible than ever. At least I do. Like you have enough life experience to know what you don't want, but you're still figuring out what you actually do want.

Maybe I was missing something. Maybe I needed a hobby.

Not just any hobby, but something that was entirely mine. Something that wasn’t tied to any KPIs or business goals. Something that would stick, unlike all the other hobbies I’ve started and abandoned over the years.

You see, I’m a part of the generation that basically grew up with the internet. I was there for the birth of Orkut and for the transition from Orkut to Facebook to Instagram. I went from downloading songs from Limewire to streaming on Spotify, from torrenting shows and movies to watching everything on Netflix. I watched people my age (and a lot younger) become YouTubers and Instagram influencers, turning their personalities into businesses.

And through all of this, I was the perfect consumer. I had all the subscriptions, followed all the creators, liked and shared everything. But I never created anything myself.

Despite working professionally with content for years, I never once hit "publish" on something that was actually mine. There was this weird mental block between consuming and creating.

But the thought of turning 31 somehow made me click publish.

So, I started a newsletter. The one you are reading right now. It forced me to read more, research topics I enjoy, and most importantly, put something with my name on it out into the world.

I'm not a writer by any means. I just enjoy sharing stories and starting a newsletter felt like the creative outlet with the least resistance. No fancy equipment needed, just me, my curiosity and whatever rabbit holes I fall into each week.

A couple of months in, I have 100 subscribers. Which might not sound like much, but for someone who had never published a single word for himself… it feels huge.

I'm also starting to discover what I like writing about and what you all like reading about. Expect more historical deep dives occasionally – seems like you're enjoying those. But beyond that, I'm still figuring it out as I go.

But this isn't why I'm sharing this with you today. I'm sharing this to introduce my newest creative pursuit – my YouTube channel. The same name (that’s baffling) and the same intent to share stories. But through a completely different format of storytelling.

I'm starting with a quiz show called "Devansh vs Friends." The concept is simple: I invite friends I've lost touch with over the years, we catch up over video call and I test their knowledge with trivia questions built around interesting stories. It's part reunion, part quiz show, part excuse to share random facts and stories.

Here's the first episode I recently put out:

Why start this now?

Honestly, this format serves multiple purposes for me. I've lost touch with a lot of friends over the years and this felt like a fun way to reconnect, while exploring a format I've always enjoyed but never been good at. It's still storytelling, just in a completely different way.

Where is all this heading?

I have no idea and I think I don't want to know either. For now, I find happiness in creating and I'll continue doing that as long as it brings me joy.

With the YouTube channel, I'm planning to do a few more episodes and see how it feels. And here's something I'd love: I want to have my newsletter friends on the show! If you want to be part of my creation journey and test your trivia knowledge while we catch up, please reply to this email.

Maybe this is what your thirties are really about – being okay with not knowing while you figure out what makes you feel alive.

Oh, and special shoutout to Utsav and Deepak (who run the 6% Club) for pushing me to create more often!